‘And the word and the notion of the archive seem at first, admittedly, to point toward the past, to refer to the signs of consigned memory, to recall faithfulness to tradition. If we have attempted to underline the past in these questions from the outset, it is also to indicate the direction of another problematic. As much as and more than a thing of the past, before such a thing, the archive should call into question the coming of the future.’
-Archive Fever - Jacques Derrida,
November is here,
Shingles are completely gone - I have shed the electrified boob tube!
So far the residency has been a lot of playin’, a lot of messin’ - testing out book formats, workshopping workshops, trying my hardest to make a negative with legible writing. 8-fold zines, vertical bifold, concertina, fishbone. Lots of cutting up, reconfiguring, some zines become small sculptures in themselves.
With the season changing I find it can be extra difficult to articulate myself in a world in overwhelming colours - dying around you again to be born. I feel like a kid when the world would make me mute out of fright because things happened around me - not in total curiosity - not in any way that I would try to assert meaning or discern it in that moment - just in a way that I was there and it felt like I just woke up - I hadn’t even realised I was sleeping - that I am small - I have felt this feeling before - I have been awake - but after all the time past have I been awake or asleep? I would diagnose this feeling as ________ . Most recent act of awakening happened in the car driving up the M1 looking at what I can only replicate with the fictions of memory as this colour yellow. Maybe more this.
‘It’s us remembering our last memory of that memory and maybe not necessarily remembering exactly the details. I don’t think it’s important that these fabricated memories are totally falsified, what does matter is that the feeling behind the memory is truthful.’
- David Andrew Balfe.
Usually when November happens I respond by attempting to nuke every avenue of my life but this residency has gifted me a time for reflection - I finished up in Blas Cafe after almost 3 years which was a big moment. I began working in the cafe in November 2023. This was sandwiched between the geopolitical crisis emerging in Palestine and locally, quite literally 2 streets parallel, to the violent attack/precursor to the Dublin Riots of 2023. I had returned from my time in Berlin after a 3 month residency where my practice was primarily through paint. As a hospitality worker one adopts the role of a priest in confession booth or a breaktime shrink where people reveal secrets and behaviours they may not so readily admit to others or often themselves, irritability, melancholy, impatience, patience, sharing, ignoring. Here is mostly where I found purpose especially in relation to my art practice. The Ceachta Beaga Gaeilge series is a method of sharing stories and moments of togetherness in recent history (last 100 years). How I share these moments of connection with others and how to approach people with everchanging moods and needs. My masters research transformed into an archive of the Williams & Woods building (where Blas is housed) and the relationships and desire paths it created for both myself and the regulars of the cafe.
When I built this archive and reflected on making 30 coffees every Wednesday for the choir men, hearing the news of a stranger’s pregnancy, daily visits from NICU parents, sharing grief, making cappuccinos with no chocolate for children of the original buildings workers who want to feel close to their mother, talking books and favourite books, hosting gigs, fundraisers, workshops. It has reinforced the meaning I found on with the Laundry Strike book and I know it now. I cant’ stop searching! I know the feeling of my memories are warm, calling into question the possibility of feelings for the future.
